I find myself plunk down in the deep middle of Empty Nest Syndrome.
I knew it was coming, there was no stopping it. It was not a surprise. I raised my two kids to be as strong and independent as possible while still letting them know, with no preconditions, that I was always there for them when and if they needed me. I will be. It is the one certainty of my life. I will be there for my kids if and when they need me.
But damn, this Empty Nest crap is a toughie for *Mommy* the Great!!!!!!
Ours was the neighborhood house where you could always find room for more kids to play. I was not June Cleaver. I was also not Roseanne (lolol). I did not do things by any self-help books...or because someone else said it was *the way things had to be done*. I just loved my kids and wanted a safe place for them to play and enjoy life, embrace fun and smell as many kind of roses as possible along the way.
Truth be known I was a very friendly *rebel* of a mom.
It is simply what I chose to be important in my life.
Now, as an independent (politically, too!) woman, with time on her hands, I turned back to one of the things that had filled my busy hours during my marriage and early Momdom. TEDDIES. Making Warm Fuzzies.
As I dragged out my original patterns, tweaking some, changing arms and leg styles, opening the magic boxes of supplies that could, with some loving stitches, be turned into little critters that can't help but make you smile from the inside out, I realized that they would become my new *kids* in a way. I could transfer my need to have a lot of love in the house to these addictive delights.
The cats don't mind :) They curl up close to me in the late evenings when I am home from work and social doings and snooze while I stitch yet another fuzzie being into existance.
Tom, my youngest and most curious of felines will try to steal the spools of thread (he isn't interested in the empty ones, just the ones I want to use of course) until I let him have one. Then of course it doesn't interest him anyway. His joy is in the theft.
As the warm fuzzies take shape, the undeniable personality starts to form. Ohhh so cute (laughing at myself!). The creative need flows in my heart again. It's always around in some form. Some more fun than others. But I've transferred the need to create something lovable into a little ball of mohair and polyfil. And it reminded me of my kids.
For what are children but the ultimate gift of creation? The supreme personification of miracles and wonder? The most difficult and meaningful challenge of a woman who chooses to bear them. The little buggers (grin)
But you know, Teddies love you unconditionally. And quietly!!! They don't wake you up in the middle of the night on the phone, needing a ride home. They don't leave all the lights on in the house or eat twice the contents of a refrigerator in one day. The don't give you moments of excruciating worry, nor wring your heart to the core. They don't demand, want, need...anything! LOL. I kind of like that.
My strength in embracing the Empty Nest Syndrome has grown over the last few years. I enjoy being in my own body, and I have always been pretty good friends with my mind and soul. I will forever be great friends with my kids. I relish my independence. I cherish the sanctuary of my home. And I can create these wondrously fun warm fuzzies to feed the little achy spot that is inevitable in the life of a Mom of grown kids.
Hmm. Not transference, maybe...magnification!
Big smile. Yeah. I like that concept.